This morning I start work at 11 but I am up and ready to go before 730. Why? Because my wife has an interview and we have only one car.
Now that we have both been with our jobs close to a year (her longer than me) we are starting to think about what's important in life. What's REALLY important. And we both landed on the same thing, MONEY. It's a dismal life living paycheck to paycheck and day to day. Making decisions between groceries and gas, what you will buy this week and what has to wait til next week. Now don't get me wrong, I like working for things. I am completely the type of person to not really care about something unless I have to work to get it and keep it (that's why I love and respect my wife so much...) but I would like it to be a little bit easier. It's tough to think of how your past decisions will eventually benefit you in the future. What I mean is that we were all told that a college education will benefit you and pay more in the future. And an advanced degree? Well, all the better. Currently my mood is just sick of the lie. I work hard and I give a sincere effort to be the best at nearly everything I do, but I don't feel so rewarded these days. I feel shafted, lied to, tricked into thinking that investing in education would pay off in the future. Currently it makes everything harder. If I didn't have my student debt I would be eating grapes and Di would be fanning me while wearing a grass skirt and a coconut bra. Or whatever the realistic version of that is. So for now I just have to tell myself that it is like a video game. And you save up now for the future and eventually you will have all the coin, all the swords, all the power ups, and unlocked many of the games secrets but for now you are just a know nothing noob who has the promise of things getting better if you really try to learn about the game and find as many loopholes as you can. I may write more about this soon. I am sort of fascinated with the idea in this country, or at least the parts of it that I experience, that going to work everyday and doing your job is fulfilling. Each day I go to work I feel more and more empty and wonder how or why I would want to do this for even another day let alone for another 4 decades. That being said, here's hoping the next few months are filled with good news and opportunity. And here's also hoping that nobody will stand in my way. You always here that crap that only you can stand in your own way, and foolish younger Mitch believed that. Anybody that has worked a full time job for more than a year has to be aware of other people in your work place wanting to hold you back. At any rate, let's hop todays a good day. I think for me, what defines who I am, is who I choose to be and what I choose to do in those fe It has has been awhile since I have written. Hell it's been a LONG while. I have avoided these posts mostly because I am not too sure what exactly to share. As in, who is my audience. Am I writing to friends and family who are actually reading this or am I merely using this as a way to digitally store my own words to be able to look back upon it someday and tell myself how foolish and inexperienced I was at 28. There is a third option. It might just be a dialogue of sorts between me and my wife. In all honesty, that option I find the most appealing.
Part of the reason I have not written anything is that I don't feel as though there is that much to write. I have now been with USBank for about 8 months. 2 of those months spent as a teller. Recently I have been working as a banker doing loans, solving problems, slinging credit cards. I am not a salesy guy and I don't like sales but every time you try and tell someone that there, they respond with some canned phrase about how I am actually just asking questions, discovering needs, and solving problems. Well that's just it. After you do something like for awhile, one day melds into the next and the then the weeks meld and then even the months meld and before you know it, it's 8 months later and you really don't feel much better off. I know that I am severely underpaid for my education level and, let's be honest, my overall awesomeness. But I don't really want this post to make me sound like I am whining. Suffice it to say that when it comes to work I am underwhelmed, under utilized, under impressed. But it has its moments and some of which I really love it. I am currently leading the branch in points (basically sales) for this month. I will enjoy it while it lasts since we are less than a week in. Here's something I can right about. I have lived in Minnesota all of my life and I have never once been to the "Great Minnesota Get Together". That's right my friends, I am a State Fair Virgin. Or at least I was. I finally made it to the State Fair this year and I think one big reason is because we live within walking distance. Kind of hard to make grumbly excuses about parking, parking costs, and drive time when you live right next to the damn thing. But that being said, the real reason I went is because it is those situations that I love hanging out with my wife. I would have never gone to that thing by myself and, even if I had, I certainly would not have enjoyed it. We explored together, we laughed together, we ate together, and (perhaps most important) my wife proved her love to me by standing in a ridiculous glob (because it wasn't really anything even resembling a line) of people to get the sweetest and most coveted of fair treats: Sweet Martha's cookies. When I heard that you could exercise your gluttony with a bucket of gooey cookies, I was all in. I don't know why, but having never seen the bucket of cookies and only hearing about it, I expected it to be a 5 gallon pale. Now don't get me wrong, no human being needs the bucket that holds roughly 4 dozen god damn cookies, but I found myself a little sad inside when I found out it was not a 5 gallon pale. It created a hole inside me, which I quickly filled with delicious Sweet Martha's Cookies. I will end the State Fair story by saying, it was rough digesting all of that and my wife was leery to stand downwind. The fair was a lot of fun. Perhaps I will have to go again in another 28 years. |
AuthorsI live my life in a series of perpetual moments. That is what life is, an assortment of moments. I try to look for them, live in them, and then look for the next one. Sometimes I speak too soon and ruin moments. But then again, I suppose that just makes it a different kind of moment. Archives
December 2018
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